The bright side of the road...

It didn’t take long from leaving the ferry to get a hard reminder of the past, a plaque for a 4 and a half year old child, blown to pieces during the troubles on the side of an old church. Cycling down the and into the modern docklands was however very impressive and lifted the soul as it became apparent that Belfast had turned the corner, thriving again and attracting tourism and business. The city was impressive, a mix of the old and the new and felt cosmopolitan.

Time to have a ride round and look at the sights.

We left the docklands, with the famous cranes that lifted the fated ‘Titanic’ and headed to the outskirts of the town. When we got out to the Protestant Shankhill Road, with the Union Jacks flying, the memorial gardens and the loyalist posters on every corners it was obvious that no one here was ready to forget the past. 

Through the now open segregation barriers into the neighbouring Republican side and along the Falls Road things felt a bit diffferent here compared to the modern city. The high wall was still there, creating a cage for these residents and again on every corner tributes, wreaths and reminders of the years of murders of their people by the British forces. You were left in no doubt how both sides still feel but at least some progress has been made by both sides and good luck to them and may this continue.

Today’s track by the celebrated musician from Belfast leaves no introduction necessary....enjoy Van Morrison here.

Screamager...

 The weather was looking up, a good general synopsis of the sea state was a gentle south-westerly blowing good to fair off Dogger Bank according to the early morning shipping forecast. No warnings in force so with military precision everything was packed and carefully stowed away; egg butties wrapped in a spare pair of freshly-laundered Y-fronts were squashed into panniers along with copious supplies of bovril and baked beans, a harmonica, a packet of love-hearts and a corkscrew...nothing had been left to chance, it was time to depart.

At the port of Cairnryan the Stena Estrid, bound for Limassol Cyprus via Belfast was parked up and waiting to whisk us over the North Sea...

Today’s blog title track is ‘Screamager’ by Belfast band ‘Therapy?’ 

The boys are back in town...

‘Twas the eve of the expedition and the meticulous planning and training for the great event was now over. It was time to meet up with the other athletes to go over the fine detail and get ‘in the zone’ for the start of the epic crusade that would commence at first light the next day.

It was obvious to anyone when we met that we were at our peak 

fitness and ready for the challenge but to take on a few extra carbs at this stage wouldn’t do us any harm so the venue for the team pre-brief was the small but plentiful, Sulwath Brewery only an hour 

or so from the main ferry terminal and a couple of hours hike away 

from our digs for the night at the comfortable residence of ‘Casa Di Pongo’.

Casa Di Pongo

  

With the calorific balance now finely tuned it would be downhill from here, then up hill, then a flat bit for a mile or two and then....well you get the idea, it’s a bike ride, ok....

The blog title comes from the 1976 Thin Lizzy classic featuring the late bluesy guitarist ‘Gary Moore’ who hailed from our next destination, Belfast and died in Spain. Effortless performance here live in Sydney for Phil Lynott and the boys...fantastic!

Teenage Kicks...

 The Troubles’ as they have come to be called featured heavily throughout my childhood due to the fact that the horrific images were on the 6 O clock news every single night. The names of places and events got hotwired into my memory; strange sounding places that I had only ever heard of but had never actually been to or knew nothing about. The Falls Road, Milltown Cemetery, The Lower Bogside, The Maze and The Shankhill Road to name but a few. Throughout the 70’s, 80’s and the 90’s the violence escalated into the U.K. as hotels, shopping centres, politicians and innocent bystanders became targets and victims of sectarian attacks. Both sides had uncontrollable factions and were as bad as each other, both blamed each other.

They weren’t just the ‘Troubles’ then, it was nightly display of carnage and violence. Car bombs, shootings, masked men, army soldiers, politicians shouting, bitter tears, marches and flags, petrol bombs and sectarian violent protests that were all very confusing to a young lad watching the news back then, but the images have stayed with me all my life. Only now do I understand what the hell was going on back then.

People said then that it would never end, they would never find peace, but somehow, against adversity, they have. Thankfully the Good Friday Agreement agreed only 12 years ago is intact and hopefully people have learned to live in peace and things have moved on for the better.

It’s time to go and have a look, so it’s out with the ‘Fenwicks’ bike cleaner to see if I can scrape a bit of mud off ready for the tour!

Music by Northern Irish bands or musicians definitely get an airing too in the forthcoming blogs as a tribute to their inspiring music. Following on from SLF here’s another band from this area and I make no excuses here, the only links are that all the bands featured in these blogs hail from NI, that way I get to choose all my favourite tracks!

Kick off here with ‘Teenage Kicks’, an absolute classic from Feargal Sharkey OBE and the boys from 1978 and a firm favourite of mine and of the late John Peel. How happy is that drummer..?

Alternative Ulster...

 As the lockdown gets slowly unlocked it’s almost time to try and have another jaunt away somewhere for some much needed R&R and blog inspiration.

The dilemma though is where can I go?

 Parts of the U.K. like Manchester, Birmingham, Leicester and sunny Burnley are out of bounds on the grounds that the virus lurks hither and they are all crap places anyway for a holiday so I had to think further afield. 

Perhaps Jamaica, Puerto Rico or Israel? 

Ryan Air didn’t seem to have any cheap seats going or short break offers!

Maybe visit our old European friends Italy, Spain or French France ?....but with the slumping pound and old depressing Brexit debate getting a bit tetchy these days with International treaties being ripped up and tariff terrorism rife then maybe its best to give them a miss as I may also be required to consider ‘self-mutilation’ on return depending on the exit rules or I might risk getting ‘caught by fuzz’ eager to use the very latest impressive and highly efficient Tracking, Tracing and Exterminating technology.

I can’t consider the USA either, as its not safe to walk the streets there anymore without the vigilante police 👮‍♂️ ‘popping a cap in ur ass’ as you step out of the ‘all ya can eat diner’ and anyway, they are all getting worked up into a frenzy with the election of one of two old donkeys that will probably trigger civil war/race wars/Star Wars and raging forest fires for years to come!

Russia was dismissed again as its too bloody cold and I’m not wanting to get poisoned.

Belarus is too crowded these days and the same with the Greek Islands but for different reasons!

So where oh where can I go?....a moral dilemma!

Suddenly I was inspired by Greta Thunderbird, of 90’s pop combo ‘Extinct rebellion’ ...well any sort of rebellion appeals to this recalcitrant troubadour really, so I decided to jump on the trendy carbon neutral wagon wheel.

The trip would need to be ethical, address our well-being, raise awareness for something and inspire social adhesion during these unprecedented times so we would need a challenge that offered an opportunity to collaborate with our colleagues, participate in teamwork whilst fulfilling our own inspirations through self awareness and gratification in places of worship or ‘pubs’ as we like to refer to them as.

Such a proposition would no doubt embrace climate change, destroy capitalism and do my tiny bit for the environment so I decided not to fly, train or boat...oh, hang on...well, I don’t suppose ferries count that much for emissions do they?

Our very own ‘Tour de Planet’ concept was born...

It was to be an endurance bicycle trip of over 3 days and would make a clear statement to the world and push our athletic bodies to the limit during an adventurous journey of a lifetime that would take in a rough sea crossing, a capital city and a lake...

You’ve guessed it, we are off to the Emerald Alley of Northern Eireland....

part motherland, part fatherland, part United, part City...well, the little Proddy bit up north that I learnt about during my childhood when every night it featured on the news during the 70’s for one reason or another.

I’m hoping it’s changed a bit as Iv never been before...

This weekend will be the signal to Pack up ‘the troubles’ in our old kit bags and panniers along with a few pairs of undies and small pot of sudacrem (other soothing bottom and chaffing lotions are available).

It will be much like going abroad but the language and the Covid rules will be similar to Lancashire but only the voices will sound different and the rules will probably get interpreted just a bit differently for some reason?

Anyhow, No euros or passports to worry about and the food and drink shouldnt give us too many ‘Belly-Wazz’ problems if we stick to the local diet of potatoes and Guinness.

To do my bit for ‘extinct rebellion’ I intend to travel by bicycle and take an old Catholic pensioner along for a ride accompanied by a dour Scottish dodo wearing the leaders  ‘orange’ jersey on a peaceful procession up the cobbles of the Shankhill Road to raise awareness of our campaign ....what could possibly go wrong?

Watch this space...or the News!

I had to sneak in an old punk favourite here and a band from Northern Ireland that I saw later at King George’s Hall in Blackburn, turn up the volume and enjoy them here in their prime.

A life in Quarantine...

Welcome to another Lockdown special....

...I am pleased to announce that my blog is being relaxed so you no longer need to be 

2 metres apart, kneeling on anyone’s neck or wearing a mask when you read it...

I have taken advice and have decided that after ten weeks of growing hair and pacing around listening to podcasts I deserve a break from it all so, as I have loads of annual leave that I have to use up by next month, I looked out of the window at the rain and decided it was time to take a break from it all...So Iv booked two weeks off!....Yipeee....

To be honest I’d got a bit bored watching Sir Matt of Hand-Cock every night so I haven’t been following the news so I thought I’d better catch up before I book my two week extravaganza in the sun.

On first glance the gist of it seemed to be that our trusty government has now got a good handle on the Covid19 situation, all testing targets have been met, everyone has stayed inside and/or alert (apart from one stray idiot that they found wandering around Barnard Castle) and the U.K. is united in its policies and has a clear exit strategy to allow us all to go on holiday again to Magaluff and the Far East....Contingency Planning was now all in place for Covid20 and the shops are stocked back up.

Oh, hang on....but what is this...??

Race riots? Quarantine?

Massive queues for McDonalds?

Second wave of virus?

Traffic jams at beauty spots?

Death of Dumble-Door ?

The country is in chaos....

It’s worse...You can’t buy a hot-tub, barbecue or bicycle for love nor money!

Don’t talk to me about idiots panic buying bedding plants either!

I love the unity that the United Kingdom oozes, In Dublin they are already supping Guinness in the smokey pubs and having weekly ‘Kayleighs’, while the Welsh have cautiously opened a Honda garage and a recycling centre on the outskirts of Cardiff. Nicola’s brave Scots are using a ‘stay at home’ Gps APP and watching Netflix and are still not allowed to eat vegetables while the English have adopted a more ‘mixed-message’ approach with no daylight curfew for the homeless and unlimited walks, with or without a dog, up to 500 miles or the nearest border(albeit adhering to social distancing rules and following a one-way system). Because we have been so good we can now buy cars, cones of chips and play golf as long as it’s not done inside and you can have as many bbq’s as you like as long as you buy the sausages from a local butcher, use contactless payment, and eat them with someone you have known for less than 15 minutes, that doesn’t have a cough, a cat or is boring or has passed a test or is learning to drive wearing nothing but an old pair of spectacles and/or Speedo’s.

If nothing else, this blog has maintained a clear message with no ambiguity which is what these 4 countries (not including the IOM) need to start adhering to....

The PM needs to get a grip...!

Who’s advising him?...it’s as if some dodgy un-apologetic travel blogger is allowing these Cummins and goings and spreading the wrong message to the forgotten souls of the U.K. Commonwealth...what they need is to initiate a 5 phase alert plan system to get us all out of this mess...and bloody quickly or I will personally trigger another lockdown. 

Phase1 - send all them pesky kids, of all nationalities,  back to school and ban them from beaches, parks and beauty spots.

Phase2 - get them old folk tested and out of the Care homes and into the fields to get some fresh air, picking vegetables and fruit.

Phase 3 - Give the key workers some more overtime and an opportunity to earn more...that way, they can pay more taxes to pay for all the idle sods who are still at home supposedly ‘home-working’!

Phase 4 - in progress 

Phase5 - further progress - Zoom meeting TBA.

With this clarity, it will allow all us able-bodied, working class heroes to get out of bed and back on to the streets for an unprecedented stroll without tripping over toddlers and walking sticks, help with social distancing in the Coop and go a long way to improve my mental wellbeing no-end so I can clearly focus on booking a much needed holiday and pedicure appointment.

...and another thing, has everyone forgot where the iron is because there a lot of scruffy buggers hanging around the Coop queues these days!

If you have to come out of your house at least make a bloody effort...it’s your civic duty you lazy sods...

This blog track is an unprecedented new 2020 track by an old lad that was a lead singer in a band I used to really like, “Death Cab for Cutie”...a great band with a great band name...enjoy  his new solo track here.

Trash...

Iv had a lot of time to do a lot of reading recently and I read an article suggesting people have too much stuff so I got to thinking that I might have a bit too much stuff too??....so I looked up about it and found out that I was getting worryingly near to level 5...

What does that mean I hear you say.....well look here⤵️

The National Study Group on Compulsive Disorganization created a clutter hoarding scale with five levels of hoarding.
...
Hoarding Level 5

• Clutter filling bathrooms and kitchen.
• At least four too many pets, per local regulations.
• Noticeable human faeces.
• Rotting food on surfaces and inside a non-working refrigerator.

The guilt was too much so I started straight away in the bathroom and kitchen cupboards. Out went the chip-pan, a slow cooker, an unused nutribullet and three gallons of tainted cooking oil....that’s a start....and then up the lift to one of the bathrooms to get rid of some Spanish toothpaste, an old loofah and about six dozen boxes of toilet rolls...only God knows why I bought so many!

Next, back again downstairs, I opened the back door and with a little nudge of my foot, the cat slipped out, followed by Jorge the gerbil and then, when no one was looking, I tipped the contents of the vivarium over the hedge into next door’s....I know that was more than four but I couldn’t leave just one Egyptian mamba on its own now could I?

Now to the big steaming pile of human faeces...I’d been meaning to tackle it for a while but just hadn’t got round to it, until now. I got out the wheelbarrow and a shovel and made a start but realised that, on my own, it was going to take bloody ages! 

Unsure quite what to do with it I thought I’d better bag it up and then it can stay out of the way under the stairs until the recycling centre is open again, hopefully in a couple of weeks...C’mon BoJo, give me a break!!

After a cup of tea I turned to tackle the last thing on the list, ah yes, the rotting food in the fridge....to be honest, some of it didn’t smell that bad and if you were really hungry or a bit squiffy-drunk on Pimms. I reckon you could make a decent fry up or a tasty butty with most of it. Admittedly, the fusty Camembert did honk a bit, and maybe the mouldy meat pie but the half tub of Shipham’s bloater paste and the experimental squid biryani still smelt ok and were definitely worth keeping for a few more days. The putrid dish of congealed pigs liver definitely had to go and so did the rank leftovers from grandads funeral last week but apart from the slightly sour milk the rest was fine.

And they are right...you do feel a lot better getting shut of a few things, I feel quite proud of myself...

But maybe I should sell some stuff to make a profit on DumbTree?..to some unsuspecting plonk that might feel the need for some old junk?

I might have a look in the loft...

I’m not the only one doing this. I saw a website the other day offering 

Webuyanyplane.com for all the surplus aircraft that no one wants anymore??

Back to the 90’s again for this blog track from Suede.