Force of Nature...

It was time to explore the picturesque countryside famous for its wonderful natural regional cuisine.

We were the last ones on the coach for our organised day trip excursion to the local foie-gras factory, the site of our next destination. Here we were instructed in the art and methods of humanely rearing large Gallic roosters, which are tethered up by their necks in cramped but comfortable rearing crates in readiness for the twice daily routine of being subjected to pain and distress. Luckily, we got the opportunity to wrestle a few of the bewildered birds to the ground in an awkward attempt to stuff a great funnel down their gulping throats and then while balancing a cheek and straddling over a small traditional wooden stool we eagerly turned handles of medieval grinders to force a heady concoction of steroids, paxo and pungent herbs down the flappy enlarged gullets to enable all the strained internal organs to artificially swell and burst with the silky, buttery flavoursome preserve. All this for the production of this delicious luxury superior artisan French delicacy that retails at about 900 euros a kilo.

It was hard work but very satisfying....not necessarily for the ducks, just us!

This afternoon we are off to market to buy a boisterous pig, tie a rope around its neck and wander off in the woods in search of some foul smelling elusive spores to grate over tonight's tea...

Force of Nature is a track by Oasis or you could have Pearl Jam!

Laisse tomber les filles...

Waking up to glorious sunshine with views of the snow capped Mont Blanc in the distance, it wasn't long before we were donning stripey tops and setting off along the twisting valley on 'bicyclettes' with onions jauntily balanced on the handlebars and swinging in the breeze as we pedalled off past several Impressive and opulent Chateau's to meet up with the locals sitting on rickety chairs under a red checked tablecloth 'al fresco' style outside a famously quaint cafe, 'Pret-a-Porter' for 'petit dejeuner'. An awkwardly large chap with a ruddy face and dressed in a long apron greeted us kindly and briskly brought our order of steaming plates of boiled snails, deep fried frogs legs and a large Coq au Vin!

Re-invigorated, we decided upon a religious experience. A visit to a 12th century pilgrimage site to which the devout drag themselves up on their knees to experience the blessed virtues of the 'Fallen Madonna' and make incense offerings in the holy tomb of 'Le Chien Mort'.

A jaunty song by French artist, France Gall.

Ca plane pour moi...

"I shall say this only once..."

Destination...Bergerac, not the old pathetic low budget Sunday night police detective series from the 70's featuring John Nettles as DCI Barnaby, no, the other one in the Dordogne in France where a fella called Cyrano once lived.

The Dordogne is beautiful this time of year, the scent of fromage, the eau de toilette  and sparkle of the Perrier...you can't beat it!

Tucking into baguettes and quaffing 'le vin', this is what holidays are made of in these parts. Hardly spent a euro so far and the folk we have met along the way all speak English so it's been like home from home.....

Anyway, the first 'nuit' is drawing in so tune in tomoz for further progress.

Today's track by Plastic Bertrand, a spoof 'new wave' track from about '77....one for the kidz....

Bigmouth Strikes Again...

While it may be the hottest day since Gavrilo Princip shot the Archduke Francis Ferdinand and knackered European relations for a while, and in some places within the UK the heat is unbearable; up here, in the North of England it is pouring with rain and as miserable and dreary as a classic 'Smiths' song - so you won't be surprised to learn that this travel blog is going to be back in action very very soon.

It's almost time for the 'Great British Bugger Off'...this is where two Hairy Shirkers get dropped in the middle of the Dordogne in gastronomic French France and have to survive and evade capture by visiting daft sounding places like 'Boulangerie', 'Charcuterie' and 'Patisserie' and then, armed only with a few worthless euros and basic O'level knowledge in how to describe to a Gallic chap that 'The dog lives behind the house!' they have only a week to build their own Chateaux and then cook a massive spotted dick using only a make-shift fire-pit and a slotted spoon....

So, should be a hoot!

As ever, the format will the same -  each blog title being a song, lyric or album from my own IPod and will playfully sync with a content that will probably be topically libellous, hopefully occasionally humorous and many times completely factually incorrect, so if this is your bag, then.....get your buns in the oven and 'Regardez' this space mon ami's.......

The first blog title of this trip is of course written and performed by the great moaner, Morrissey and the Smiths with a classic to get us in the mood...

Last Goodbye...

Taking our seats in the upstairs section of the very modern 12 o clock train, we left Grosseto and had a great elevated view of the coastline as we made the 2 hour ride back up through Cecina and Livorno back to Pisa.

We had wanted to do the whole trip by public transport this time and it had not let us down, a great relaxing and comfortable way to see this area of Italy.

Now, with a handy place to stay within 5 minutes walk to the airport for the morning, we had the last chance to have a look around the town before we said 'Arrivederci' to Pisa and flew over the leaning tower and then over the snowy Alps back to Blighty.

Last track of the trip from Jeff Buckley.

Slide Away...

Up and packed to catch the 8'o'clock bus outside the B&B.

We headed back down the now familiar twisting SS74 through Marsiliana, Albinia and returned to Grosetto. The return journey turned out to be a lot cheaper as we hadn't got a ticket, the driver didn't seem to want to sell us one and on arriving at Grosseto, no-one asked for one!

...'Gratuito'....

Now familiar with place, we checked back into the same Hotel San Lorenzo that we had enjoyed a few days earlier and then immediately left to grab a Panini and return back to the train station for a 20 minute ride up the coast to Follonica.

The reason...Follonica Aqua Park!

In soaring temperatures we spent a wet and wild afternoon climbing hundreds of steps to go shooting down twisting pipes and 50 metre death slides with names like Kamikaze and Anaconda providing frequent but compulsory bouts of colonic irrigation!

Plunging into pools on rubber dinghies and battling through icy waterfalls, the water park had it all.

The kids loved it....!

A fancy white Mercedes taxi opened its automatic side doors to take us wearily back to the 'Stazione' and then on the next train, with our tickets validated, we were back in Grosetto.

The only thing left to do was to revisit the delicatessen 'Gustangolo' on Via Solferino and sit outside until the sun went down with a glass or 3 of, this time another fantastic find, and an absolute scorcher, 'Ansonica' from Celestina Fe.

Once again, Ristorante 'L'Uva e il Malto provided a fine end to the day with more stunningly tasty plates of food.

'Slide Away' is still a favourite from 'Oasis' off their debut album, and arguably best 'Definitely Maybe'.

Strange and Beautiful...

Sunday

Parking the Lancia at the top of Via Cava Della Madonna Delle Grazie we descended by foot down and along the strange old twisting Etruscan passageways that had been hand carved out of the Tofu rock centuries earlier. A network of these mysterious roads are abundant in this area and a few can be linked up which is what we planned to do. 

Like medieval trolls entering a strange magical kingdom in a land that time forgot we followed the tunnel like lanes that were wick with darting lizards and linked up with the road that led to Via Cava Di San Giuseppe and followed this up to La Fontana Dell' Olmo, a natural spring before returning back to the town Pitigliamo....a strange but pleasantly satisfying stroll.

Back in the Lancia it was 42C so we needed a breezy drive around the twisting hairpin bends to cool off and on to visit two smaller nearby towns of Sovana and Sorano. Both pretty but just too hot to walk around them much....back to the pool HQ with a couple more samples from the Enoteca....

Today's song by Aqualung, and the title track off their first self titled album in 2002.