Operation Overboard is now in full swing, Iv packed up my troubles in an old kit bag along with a plentiful supply of Yorkshire tea bags, 3 rusty bicycles and an unfeasibly large pot of Sudocrem to apply to any war wounds or inflammation of the ‘Pomme de Terre’s’ that we may encounter along the cobbled streets of Normandyland.
Iv cunningly set my ‘Out of Office’ for some other bugger to answer for my mistakes and it’s time to leave ‘Terrazza Negroni’ (as the mooring is affectionately referred to as ) as ‘Joe Le Taxi’ Aka Pongo is ‘en-route’ on his way down from the outer reaches of Jockland, arriving around ‘le petit dejeuner’ time to pick me up.
With a bit of Vera Lynne playing on the wireless to get us in the holiday mood we set off next to liberate ‘Buster’ from the clutches of ‘Lost’A’CockHall’ and then the 3 amigo’s are united to fight again and we can finally set off together on the long and torturous journey down the M6 ‘dans le voiture’ to French France….well, until one of us needs a piss stop at the next services….
To mark the occasion, a fitting poem has been penned by Siegfried Sassoon, the late WW2 poet laureate….and it goes like this…
Gazzer, Pongo and Buster are setting sail to Calais,
To the gallic chants and cheers of…”Allez, Allez, Allez”,
But we know nowt about France,
Are too old for romance,
So we will liberate the wine,
And sit and play dominoes to pass by the time
Over the Dartford bridge then we reach the White cliffs of Dover where we find that there are no bluebirds left due to Avian Influenza but plenty of scraggy seagulls. Before the stench of seagull excretion becomes overpowering we get directed to embark an earlier ferry called the ‘Herald of Free Enterprise’ then we are off before they have even closed the back doors… ‘tout suite’…!
The goofy little 14 year old, Vanessa Paradis had this popular hit in 1987.
Probably working in a chip shop just outside Paris now…
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