Crazy Again…

Bit of an action packed water sport fest next to report.

To mark surviving 58 years on this planet I thought I’d turn the heat up a bit as Iv been told that life can get a bit fusty if you let it, as you get older, so a bit of crazy stuff every now and then should be just the tonic.

So I booked myself for half an hour on Great Big Mable….Hey!, Steady!…don’t make up ur own jokes, it’s MY blog!

She was ready and waiting for me on the beach, looking radiant in her bright red livery.

Strap yourself in for da ride..

I climbed up and fastened myself in, it was going to be one helluva birthday ride…she set off like the clappers and all I could do was hang on for dear life, bouncing up and down I yelled for her to stop but she had got a grip of me now and all I could do was to close my eyes and wait for her to finish….#ifuwannagofasterjustscream!

Next stop, a throbbing Yamaha 700 jet ski was wheeled out by my water sport ‘fixer’, Mr Kunabalan.

His only instruction was…” just clear the boats before you let rip”

I manoeuvred slowly around the moored craft and when clear, hit the accelerator. My arms extended about six inches as the Gforce locked out my elbows as I clung on while maintaining suction on the seat with my limpet like bum.

At top speed and flat out I was out to see what this thing could do as I blasted towards the distant island. Best of all, no-one could hear me shouting in my head “we are the mods, we are the mods, we are, we are, we are the mods”….

A few doughnuts and figures of eight around the bay and my old bones had been subjected to enough of this craziness, it was time to winch it back in.

It was AWESOME, dude!

The winch man 

Next was a more sedate kayak trip over to Coral island 🏝️, a spot we were already familiar with that was great for a spot of snorkelling.

Coral island 

All in all it was a great fun and exhilarating day and finished off with an BBQ on the beach looking at what we had achieved….

Oh, yeah, And…I’m off the see ‘The National’ at Edinburgh Castle…Yip, Yip!!

To accompany please find ‘The Gossip’s new single ‘Crazy Again’, great new song and must watch bonkers video!

Be thankful for what you got…

 

Normal service will resume when I can be arsed…

Just sit back with a bit of Massive Attack

Motorcycle Emptiness…

Sometimes you get the ‘need for speed’ so now we need to talk about Kevin…

Meet Kevin ‘Spacy’, our rented ride.

It’s the perfect way to bob about the island visiting beaches and calling into foodie spots and visiting the gin emporium. This is our second set of wheels for visiting Pangkor Island. There’s only one road and takes about 20 minutes to circumnavigate if you lean into the bends and avoid the monkeys 🙈 🙉 🐵 

The ‘Spacy’ features a subtle design that puts functionality at the forefront. Powering the Honda is a 108cc engine that makes 8.64 hp of raw power at 8000rpm. Iv not been allowed to get it up to full speed due to the back seat driver clinging on like a crab 🦀 and tensing up at the sight of a sweet tight right-hander…

To rent a bike you just need to confirm that you can balance adequately with a quick test ride around the block then pay with cash the negotiated fee (30 dobbers/5 quid) for the days you need it for and off you go, max 4 minutes. Thankfully no messing about with licences, passport details and pointless forms.

Now you need to be aware of some of the rules around here.

Wearing helmets ⛑️ is COMPULSORY but if you don’t want to that’s ok.

In fact lots of things are ok, like don’t worry about stopping to give way, just keep going and someone will make room for you. Stopping for a chat in the middle of the road is fine, going in the opposite direction to traffic, also ok. Overtaking can be either side and you don’t need to bother too much about road markings, non importanti, as they say around here.

Parking is also easy, just get as near as you can to the place you need to be at and stop.

Bulky items such as wheelie bins will require the rider to be able to operate the bike using only one hand while maintaining the same speed with the bin in the other.

Maximum 5 on a bike though…I’d love to see 6 but 5 is very impressive!

5 ring dings usually fills the tank at the local gas station.

Enjoy a bit of the ‘Manics’ here with ‘Motorcycle Emptiness’

Bubbles…

I thought I’d try my hand at snorkelling today so booked on a boat trip to visit some pristine uninhabited islands with a promise of one of Jaques Cousteau’s famous quotes…

“ The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever”

We got a cheap deal with a kindly local seafarer, Mr Kunabalan, who got us to choose a life vest from the rack and gave us a choice of craft…

   

I’d watched all the episodes of the Blue Planet so had a good idea what to expect and it all looked very promising.

We chose the bigger 06 Happy Island Service boat and climbed aboard just after breakfast.

As we powered into the snorkel zone, I could see the inviting turquoise waters and stood up in anticipation and donned my mask and snorkel in readiness.

As the keen pilot swung the boat round with the powerful ‘Mercury’ outboard, he dramatically applied the brakes and as the boat lurched, I fell backwards sharply and got physically jammed between the rib seats and large American lady tourist from Texas. 

Because I’d lathered on the factor 50 liberally, in anticipation of being submerged for a few hours in the blazing sun, I was now as slick and oily as a seal, so as she jumped up in surprise, I was catapulted into the air like a wet bar of soap. As I landed back onto the slippy PVC vinyl seats, the craft came to a sudden halt and I slid dramatically across three cushions and plopped over the side, head first into the sea like a drunk penguin.

Now with the temperature of the water lower than the air, it was at this point that my mask decided to fog up, causing zero visibility, which impacted on my coordination. It didn’t help that my unsecured, flimsy, orange life jacket had risen up over my head and had snagged itself on my snorkel. 🤿 . Snorkels aren’t designed to work very well underwater and I found this out as I took a deep breath and instantly filled one lung with salty water, this reflex prompted my breakfast bowl of noodle soup to start travelling up the pipe the opposite direction..

At that point my head hit the coral below…

Coughing and spluttering like an old lambretta on a Bank holiday, I emerged once again into the daylight and as I was hauled back into the boat, with snot streaming from my nose, I realised that I was probably more Jack Duckworth than Jaques Cousteau when it came to this particular pastime…

This is what I would have seen…

Instead, enjoy a bit of Biffy Clyro with ‘Bubbles’.

Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm…

The blog is temporarily down due to technical errors - normal service will resume at some point.

In the meantime here is a song by the Crash Test Dummies.

Won’t get fooled again…

There is a reason why folk moved out of the jungle! It’s full of creepy bugs and wild creatures that will bite yer balls off at a moment’s notice.

This is why we were upgraded…

The new place is Tiger Rock, a luxurious, exclusive private, low impact and sustainable retreat where you get looked after by dedicated staff serving excellent cuisine, prepared and cooked by a chef using only seasonal local ingredients from Pangkor Island to produce a culinary experience of the flavours from Malaysia. 

Set within a protected area of rainforest with Giant hornbills above and troupes of cheeky monkeys peering at you from every angle.

   

All set in a beautiful established garden.

With a private lounge and infinity pool.

 

Or two…

 

Oh, and of course…a tiger! 

“They’re Grrreat…”

https://www.tigerrock.info/

It really is the dogs….

Who are you?

Jungle Boogie…

It’s time to apply the deet…we are heading for the Malaysian jungle!

It’s only natural that you get down to basics now and again and spend some time appreciating how our forefathers lived, like Tarzan.

It wasn’t long before we were under the canopy, and sweating like pigs, into the dense, primary rainforest. In the distance we could hear the courtship calls of the cicada’s, like small car alarms going off. 

  

We carried on regardless, going ‘deeper and deeper into the under growfth’. I could hear the lispy botanist David Bellamy in my head and picture his round, hairy, bearded face, creepily poking out from behind a thicket of palm frongs…

We soldiered on, as the path disappeared we hacked our way through the whispering grass and the spikey rattan, now humid and hot we resembled Don Estelle & Windsor Davies of ‘It ain’t half hot mum’, circa 1974 fame…

Suddenly we came across a large python in the bushes, hissing at us…was this a warning?

“Sssstay on the path”

We continued on…

Then, another reptile, this time an angry venomous cobra reared up…

“Hiss off”

We started to run…

                                 Right into the path of an awaiting tiger…

“They’re Grrreat…!”

So we ran a bit more…

Finally we caught a glimpse of a roof through the forest 

and could hear several larger creatures crashing about in the nearby trees, we had at last found our promised abode.

‘Seaview Cottage’

It was spacious and rustic, as described…but we were not the first to arrive. 

A troupe of pesky primates had beaten us to it and had most of the galvanised roof sheets away and a couple of the windows.

On closer inspection, the wifi password didn’t work, there were no clean towels or any sign of a minibar!

That’s the last time I’m using AirB&B…

Good work, managed to reference a couple of classic 70’s TV programmes from my youth too!

Kool and the Gang ‘Jungle Boogie’, used in one of my favourite films ‘Pulp Fiction ’…Iv added the lyrics too so be sure to sing along!

Lyrics

Get down, get down 
Get down, get down 
Get down, get down 
Get down, get down
Get down, get down 
Get down, get down
Get down, get down 
Get down, get down 

Jungle boogie 
(Get down with the boogie)
Jungle boogie 
(Get it on) 
Jungle boogie 
(Get down with the boogie)
Jungle boogie 
(Get it on) 
Jungle boogie 
(Get up with the boogie)
Jungle boogie 
(Get up with the get down)
Jungle boogie 
(Get down with the boogie) 
Jungle boogie 
(Shake it around) 

Jungle boogie 
(Get up with the get down)
Jungle boogie 
(Boogie, boogie) 
Jungle boogie 
(Get the boogie) 
Jungle boogie 
Jungle boogie 
(Get up with the get down)
Jungle boogie 
(Ah, get the boogie) 
Jungle boogie 
(Let me jump in) 
Jungle boogie 
(Get down with the boogie) 

Get down, get down 
Get down, get down 
(With the boogie)
Get down, get down 
(Jungle boogie)
Get down, get down
(With the boogie)
Get down, get down 
(It's the boogie)
Get down, get down
(Jungle boogie)
Get down, get down 
(With the boogie)
Get down, get down 
(With the boogie)
Get down, get down 
(Jungle boogie)
Get down, get down 
(Boogie)
Get down, get down 
(It's the boogie)
Get down, get down 

Uh, get it
Feel the funk y'all 
Let it flow

Get down with the boogie 
I'm a-talkin' 'bout the jungle boogie
Get down, huh
Get down with the boogie say 
Uh, huh, get down
Say, uh, huh-uh, ah, get down
Say, uh, huh, get down
Say, uh, huh, till you feel it, y'all
Ah, huh, get down, y'all
Uh-huh
Ah, get down
Huh-uh
Ah, get up, y'all
Ah, huh, with the get down
Uh-huh
Uh-huh
Get down
Whoa!