Fill in the blank...

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Mosquitoes (Zanzari).....or as I like to call them....”Annoying Ba####ds”
(Fill in the blank)....

A topic that I haven’t covered yet but ‘Molto importante’ around these parts.
It would seem from experience that these little ###### sleep for most of the day like students, then when I fancy staying up listening to dudes tunes and drinking vino Rosso they take exception and start attacking and nibbling, very annoyingly at your lower fleshy parts...

What purpose do they serve?...I haven’t met anyone that has a good word to say about them...

Local advice is that you need is to eat copious amounts of home grown garlic combined with fish oil....then various other solutions are banded around and before you know it you have a daily recipe intake of rendering waste, vitamins A-Z, tiger balm, skin O’so so soft, brewers yeast, local honey, caviar, smelly pecorino, FAM30 and then on top of this you start systematically rubbing yourself all over with iodine, calamine, chlorine, histamine, pancetta and peach schnapps....all available from the downtown Farmacia in Camucia.

Ants, praying mantises, moths, lizards, scorpions and even the noisy secada aren't a problem, they just sit up above in the vines, rubbing themselves into a tropical frenzy and keep themselves to themselves, the lowly zanzari are different....the ba###stards....!!

Smoke helps apparently....dope, fags, pipes, pot and fat cigars all deter the little zanzari and give them a lung cancer death but it all takes time....
So I get a ‘Spirali’ vape insecticide burner...a lovely carcinogenic lavender flavour to lull them in with and when you have finally mastered the art of how to split them you can light them and stick the totally Ineffective appliance under the tavola....to burn your toes on!

Citronella, lemon juice, Vimto and elderflowderberry cordial all deter the flying fec##kers but I’m not sure drinking 3 imperial gallons of the stuff everyday is good for the well-being?...il stick to red 🍷 

Iv even tried offensive music... playing Phil collins, BoyZOne and Ugly Kid Joe all on one greatest tw#ats album but even that didn’t stop them biting....

It almost killed me ....So I’m off to bed...

...and if I’m dead in the morning from the Zita virus or West Nile Fever then they have achieved their aim in life...the ############’s....

‘Fill in the blank’ was a wonderful find for me and the first song I had heard by this band ‘Car Seat Headrest’....stupid bloody band name but great catchy song with gritty guitar riffs....enjoy!

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