Keep on Rockin’ in the Free World...
What is wrong with The world these days?
The whole place is in turmoil...
I have just turned the idiot lantern on again for some uplifting festive cheer and there is Old MotherTeresa, the leader of the free world, stood there looking very old and grey and sporting a pained expression like she had just passed a big milestone...her backbench backstoppers voted her to go through to the next round but already I can hear the dulcet tones of Sir Allan of Sugar telling her ‘“It’s with great regret, but I’m going to be quite blunt...You’re a lightweight....You’re Fired! “
As temperatures plummet across Europe the vultures are circling and no-one seems to be in control of their own destiny?
The Italian mafia have said that they are not going to supply any more drugs for the festive period unless Arch angel Angela of Mirkleshire stops sending them migrants.
In retaliation she has posted a selfie on Salvini’s Facebook page from the late night fling they had at the last G20 summit in Hamburg.
In The Netherlands, all the dykes with all the butt-plugs can’t even stop the hard Brexit from being shoved up to the backstop....and them boys know a thing or two about sticking things in holes...
The Spaniardio’s are having a quiet siesta after hastily making up beds for all the old wrinklies from all the cold, frosty EU countries to migrate there for their winter suntans, to drink copious amounts of sangria and save a bit on their hiked-up winter gas bills.
It’s also cooled down now in French France, after the heat of the summer sparked the ‘Ark de Triumph’ riots that were swamped with them pesky ‘Yella-bellies’ jumping around, complaining about the environment and the extortionate price of croissants in Paris which is now causing a backlog of Brie and triggering another amendment to give more bouts of indigestion to the festive constitution.
Across the pond, in the Islamic States of America the Red-knecked Trumpers have already snaffled the turkey for the Thanksgiving giving day and will be thanking the lord again when they get that fence up to stop them meddlin’ moustachio’d Mexicans....Amen brother!
In Ireland a backstop is not just for Christmas...but no-one knows what it is or where to stick it?...maybe ask a Catholic priest?
And as for the the Un-United Kingdom of Doom, the annual budget is on the Barclaycard, the Queen is dead....is she?,...well nearly! Are we in? are we out? The big bake off has buggered off while the Brexit bandwagon rumbles on with a clueless bunch of part-time drivers heading us into our own made oblivion.
As the snow starts to fall festive revellers in high spirits with high levels of intoxication had better watch out, and better be ware cos’ without a ‘Withdrawal agreement’ they risk office party pregnancies and higher taxes on childcare come the New Year, that is if what is left of the government ‘remains’....
At this very special time of the year lets just have some hands across the water, eh?
First let’s raise a glass of French toast to ‘No Brussels’ at Christmas.
Then why not sink a few negronis in Naples instead of migrant boats,
have a sneaky Bellini with a Belgian, sing a Christmas carol with a Canadian,
Share a a box of ‘Novichoc’ chocolates with an Oligarch,
Pull a cracker with a Croat,
Roast your chestnuts with a Chinaman
Eat pie with a Thai
Play twister with a Transylvanian transvestite,
Have an Absinthe with an Albanian
Wrap tinsel round a Turk
Bring coal to a Pole
Dine with a Dane
Basically, just try to get on with folk....its not that difficult.
This is not just any world,...this is our delicious, diet-free, drizzled canapé of a capitalist, screwed-up world...brought to you exclusively by Donald T for Turkey Trump...
Peace and Love ....
‘Keep on rocking in the Free World’....a monster of a track that if turned up loud enough will make all this shit go away...please try it. Thanks to Neil Young once again...a great man with morals....and great rockin’sojgs with timeless lyrics.
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