Joy Division Oven Gloves...
The situation has now got more desperate as the food is running low. It wasn’t good to start with as all the shelves are still empty in the coop but I did manage to come away with a some spuds, a packet of fish fingers and a bag of frozen peas but now Iv got home I haven’t a bloody clue what to make with them?
Not to be beaten I looked on’t’internet to see if there was some way that I could knock up a tasty meal using only the three ingredients and hey pesto...incredibly, there was!
There were loads actually but Iv narrowed it down to just 3 of my favourites.
Ingredients:
2kg Potatoes
1pkt Fish Fingers
1 bag of frozen peas
Recipe number 1 - EASY — Jamie Oliver
Method:
First you need to build a smoker in the back yard, put the fish fingers on a rack and leave for 3 days. While the fish is smoking, light your outside pizza 🍙oven and get the temperature to 207C before you throw in the spuds, unpeeled and whole. Next, defrost the peas over a pan of boiling water and then pulse gently in a liquidiser until rusticly sloppy. Here’s a great tip...if you don’t have a liquidiser then spread the peas on an olive wood board and ‘smash’ them with the palm of your hand or an old rolling pin and then sweep up from the floor.
Serving Suggestion:
skewer the spuds with a pitchfork and then finely 🔪slice then stand the fishfingers up on end on a wooden serving platter at jaunty angles and then drizzle the pea juice over the top from a height....Bingo....Pucker!!
Recipe number 2 - QUITE TRICKY - Hugh Fernally Whittingdale
Method:
First, check the packaging.
It’s important to ensure that the potatoes have been grown in organic soil approved by the soil association and they are the correct size, shape and weight and have been harvested by hand by workers on no less than the minimum wage.
Next, smell the fish, it needs to have been ethically hand caught that morning by hook and line in British waters and comply with EU standards for sustainability and not be endangered to the point of extinction...🎣
The peas, or petit-poi’s, as I like to call them should have been picked, packed ,blast frozen and hermetically sealed within 26seconds or the whole lot needs to go in the bin...🍽
....Now return to the Coop!
Recipe number 3 - REALLY SEXY - Nigella Lawson
This romantic recipe is just oozing with plumpious excitement as we add a little Italian twist to produce this joy of joys, deep, penetrating pleasure...
Method:
First, take a deep breath and run your finger delicately down the side of the fish finger and then push slowly, but firmly, into the moist, white, flesh leaving a small but welcoming hole in which to insert your tiny frozen pea...repeat until all the succulent peas are nestled exquisitely in place.
Then gently whisk the potatoes until they form stiff, creamy but elegant peaks and drizzle slowly with an expensive olive oil from the hillsides around Toscana. Bend seductively over and insert your creation into the bottom oven of your Aga for 30minutes until hard and firm to touch...
Serving Suggestion:
Lay the exquisite fish-pea fusion onto the cosy bed of creamy goodness and serve sensually with a soft, satisfying, salty tart...
...Hmmm...this isn’t Aldi food, this is top notch sexy Co-op fare..💋🤥
TOP TIP : For a tasty Tomato salsa you could look in the cupboard and see if there is a squeezy bottle of HP as an accompaniment and butter a couple of slices of bread.
Bon Appetito 🇮🇹
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