angst
/aŋst/
noun
- a feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.
One thing Iv noticed that this lockdown has done
is that it’s got everyone a lot fitter!
Iv never known so many people, who quite frankly were the quintessential lazy fat-arsed sods of the community, now seem sooo desperate to excercise or...to be seen to be exercising. We
Why is this?
Before the restrictions, most folk couldn’t get up in a morning.
Then, when they had hauled their lardy arses out of bed, they would set off reluctantly, driving half asleep to work, eating crisps and pies and then returning as soon as they could, on flexitime, to lie on their moth-eaten sofa’s and complain like hell if even an ‘advert’ came on for anything remotely active, like Peloton bikes or Nike trainers.
Since the old rubber-faced Michael Gove came on the telly and told them they were restricted they have sworn blind that it’s their God given humanitarian right to joggle around the park, dodging the hazardous dog doo’s, and nobody, but nobody is gonna tell them they can’t...virus or no virus, they are sticking to the constitution and they is going OUT.
So now, the newly ordered big daft headphones have arrived from Amazon and the old
‘Fatbit’ has been dug out the drawer and charged up. Special anti-wobble licra fabric garments are then donned until they are stretched over all the folds and then the athletic-pathetic ‘look’ is completed with a jaunty baseball cap.
“Hey, look at me...I’m going for my run”
MY run...all of a sudden??
⏱
A pink plastic water carrier is then filled with a sprout juice and lime zest combo and matching pink watches and alarms are synchronised in readiness....
...and then they are off...1 hour and counting...
⏱
On 59.45 minutes on the timer they arrive home, key in the door, exhausted and sweaty but elated at another PB...Stop the clock!
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They have completed the 1.3km circuit around the trim track, up past the duck pond and even managed a chat with the postman while only stopping the clock briefly to nip in the SPAR to pick up a Daily Mail, some fags and a Kit-Kat for the way back.....
all this in under an hour!
...aren’t they just great?
Not only have they beaten their own personal best but more importantly they have got one over on the nasty Micheal Gove and the rest of the Tory Trotsky’s. So it’s now time for a celebratory fry 🍳up and a couple of cans of Strongbow in front of the telly with a pungent aroma of Ralgex and Deep Heat filling the room...
Well, they deserve it....they should really get the 👏CLAP 👏too...
...or maybe save that for next time they go out....🤔
Join me in my angst with this great track, amazing riff and off a classic album ‘Nevermind’ by a fella that went on to blow his brains because he got fed up of living in a delusional society.
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