Where’s me Jumper?...

I tell you what there does seem to be a lot about....and that’s Hair!!

I’m thinking of joining a band...I can’t play guitar, drums or sing but I reckon I could get in with the hair alone. It’s now a cross between the lead singer of poison and the one with the massive Afro in the 70s animated cartoon ‘The Hair Bear Bunch’ (one for the kids there...keepin’ it real, innit?)

So, Help, Help, here come the bears!

But I’m not rushing straight back to ‘Fast Frank’s’ after all this, I’m going to embrace 

the moment and have been inspired by watching a lot more tv and keeping a close eye on the pompadour styles of the rich and famous, whether it’s Boris’ scruffy mongrel dog look or Donald’s ‘flapping in the wind’ stick on wig style Iv realised that I need to use this
unprecedented opportunity to my advantage.

Iv got mates who are disappointingly ‘ Bald as coots’ or ‘badgers’ and live miserable lives having to wear flat caps, balaclavas or tam’o’shanters just to try to fit into 

society.

( It turned out that the expression “as bald as a badger” comes from Victorian times when the original expression was: “as bald as a badger's backside”. Badger's hair was used to make men's shaving brushes. Brush makers would trap badgers and take the hair from their derrieres and then set them free.)
...I wondered why they shot the pesky sods!!

So, I’m thinking of going for a Micheal Bolton 80s straggly thinning look but with a classic 70’s Rod Stewart bouffant and either a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet or a David Beckham ponytail.

What do you think?

For the facial hair I’m going for a classic Magnum PI tash but incorporating a fashionable Harold Shipman serial killer look so when I peer into the local Care Home window they won’t know if I’m coming to help them find their purse or planning something a lot more sinister...

Who needs a job after this??

I’m going to join a band, learn to smoke ganja and travel the world shaking maracas and reciting poetry....

....I’m off...

...hang on

....If i can’t find my jumper I won’t be going anywhere...

A great opportunity to play a song by one of the first bands I ever saw for £2.50 in the North End club...the Sultans of Ping FC. a band from Cork with a singer dressed in a pink tutu and tights, feather boa and a woolly green Irish football hat blew my mind with crazy lyrics and huge riffs....money well spent...Happy Dayz!