So was anyone else disappointed?
Who wanted to see the owd lad on the five o clock podium?
Is he swinging the lead?
Taken a flexi day?
It would have been a lot better if maybe he had just made an appearance on a chaotic Zoom meeting, working from home like everyone else. At least then we could have been treated to...
“Boris...has joined the meeting”...
...with his bed-hair sticking up and watching him fumbling about while he worked out why no one could hear him and then all of a sudden just go off...then reappear...still no sound...gesticulating...coughing...oh, thumbs up...pointing to his screen....miming the words ‘what do I press?’ as he held up an old spectrum computer...
Meanwhile the Right Honourable Matty the muppet Hand-Cock is furiously pointing to his own mute key, annoyed by his boss’s pathetic awkward interactions, he starts tapping on his keyboard trying to re-send him the email instruction.
...Exasperated, Boris slowly shakes his head, takes off his headphones and stands up, scratching his cods through his Y fronts and walks out of the camera shot...
“Boris...has left the meeting”...
It been a testing time...
But I’m glad he’s back, leading from the rear, and now with added immunity.
Perhaps he’s out on his bike delivering testing kits like a demented Deliveroo rider?
But he has been busy while he’s been up at Chequers...
Iv kept up with his amusing daily blog while he’s been off and have enjoyed using his ‘Tik-Tok’ dance routines everyday, doing the ‘Macarena’ to help me to not only keep fit but to stay inside and support the NHS during the lockdown. There’s been his popular weekly ‘Brexit Quiz’ and Iv very much appreciated his ‘Cooking with BoJo’ daily podcasts where he’s been sharing some of his mothers favourite recipes especially the roasted venison with the partridge bouillon and dauphinois potatoes cooked in the bottom drawer of the Aga....Mmmm!
“Isolation doesn’t get better than this...”
Iv also been lucky enough to have had an extended virtual tour of 10 Downing Street with a peek through the secret door round the back into ‘Rishi’s’ new conservatory and then an ‘Access All Areas’ virtual pass gave me an exclusive look around Porton Down with a free virtual ‘tasting’ at the end, courtesy of the NHS.
Thanks for nothing Big Man
Who’s in Control?
A single from by Cumbrian band British Sea Power off their 2011 album Valhalla Dancehall. Enjoy it again here.
P.s. contains bad language and nudity...sorry!
No comments:
Post a Comment