Trash...

Iv had a lot of time to do a lot of reading recently and I read an article suggesting people have too much stuff so I got to thinking that I might have a bit too much stuff too??....so I looked up about it and found out that I was getting worryingly near to level 5...

What does that mean I hear you say.....well look here⤵️

The National Study Group on Compulsive Disorganization created a clutter hoarding scale with five levels of hoarding.
...
Hoarding Level 5

• Clutter filling bathrooms and kitchen.
• At least four too many pets, per local regulations.
• Noticeable human faeces.
• Rotting food on surfaces and inside a non-working refrigerator.

The guilt was too much so I started straight away in the bathroom and kitchen cupboards. Out went the chip-pan, a slow cooker, an unused nutribullet and three gallons of tainted cooking oil....that’s a start....and then up the lift to one of the bathrooms to get rid of some Spanish toothpaste, an old loofah and about six dozen boxes of toilet rolls...only God knows why I bought so many!

Next, back again downstairs, I opened the back door and with a little nudge of my foot, the cat slipped out, followed by Jorge the gerbil and then, when no one was looking, I tipped the contents of the vivarium over the hedge into next door’s....I know that was more than four but I couldn’t leave just one Egyptian mamba on its own now could I?

Now to the big steaming pile of human faeces...I’d been meaning to tackle it for a while but just hadn’t got round to it, until now. I got out the wheelbarrow and a shovel and made a start but realised that, on my own, it was going to take bloody ages! 

Unsure quite what to do with it I thought I’d better bag it up and then it can stay out of the way under the stairs until the recycling centre is open again, hopefully in a couple of weeks...C’mon BoJo, give me a break!!

After a cup of tea I turned to tackle the last thing on the list, ah yes, the rotting food in the fridge....to be honest, some of it didn’t smell that bad and if you were really hungry or a bit squiffy-drunk on Pimms. I reckon you could make a decent fry up or a tasty butty with most of it. Admittedly, the fusty Camembert did honk a bit, and maybe the mouldy meat pie but the half tub of Shipham’s bloater paste and the experimental squid biryani still smelt ok and were definitely worth keeping for a few more days. The putrid dish of congealed pigs liver definitely had to go and so did the rank leftovers from grandads funeral last week but apart from the slightly sour milk the rest was fine.

And they are right...you do feel a lot better getting shut of a few things, I feel quite proud of myself...

But maybe I should sell some stuff to make a profit on DumbTree?..to some unsuspecting plonk that might feel the need for some old junk?

I might have a look in the loft...

I’m not the only one doing this. I saw a website the other day offering 

Webuyanyplane.com for all the surplus aircraft that no one wants anymore??

Back to the 90’s again for this blog track from Suede.