Inspired observations gained from my travels, matched to a music track and made into a quirky blog from a recalcitrant Lancastrian.
recalcitrant
rɪˈkalsɪtr(ə)nt/
adjective
1.
having an obstinately uncooperative attitude towards authority or discipline.
noun
1.
a person with a recalcitrant attitude.
"a stiff-necked recalcitrant and troublemaker"
☯️
Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable.
Franz Kafka.
Next trip coming soon….
We have decided to head 30km up the coast to have a look at Cherating.
During the previous monsoon months it’s a lively surfing area but as it’s summer and hot now there will be no surf and it has a more tranquil and chilled vibe. We have booked a small chalet a few yards from the beach, Casa Lena, to unwind and hang out like a couple of old surf dudes ready to undertake some serious beach-front slacking.
Across the water is the other side of Malaysia, Sabah & Sarawak and when the tide turned and came in towards us, the warm south China sea was lovely.
We used Booking.com for this one instead of sourcing it ourselves but it wasn’t like the photos portrayed, but it will have to do just for one night.
Malaysian folk are quiet souls and all seem relaxed and gentle so this place was perfect for us….
That is until….
…the Hells Angel’s hit town!
A load of Malaysian lads having a meet up to show off their ….Honda 90’s?..
A perfect chilled track to relax to so enjoy this tune by Vashti Bunyan
Today feels different, the atmosphere feels charged with devotion, spirituality and divine energy…
It’s probably because it is Maha Shivratri, a big party day on the Hindu calendar and is celebrated every year with a lot of pomp and grandeur as it is of great spiritual significance.
The festival falls on the 14th day of the dark (waning) half of the lunar month, a day before the new moon and Lord Shiva, one of the cosmic gods and father to old elephant nose, Ganesha, who was also the founder of this occasion.
Lord Shiva has 3 eyes, four hands and wears a serpent around his neck as a scarf and often carries a trident so he can be easily recognised.
I sincerely hope it’s not a religious scam, but today Iv decided to take up the offer of following the path of inner peace, to overcome ignorance and attain self realisation, absolve negative karma and give myself a new direction in life…what do I have to lose?
Iv started the day by forcing myself to lie on a hard, wooden slatted surface, half naked, to endure the blazing Malaysian sun while reciting my mantra, chanting “Mojito ,Mojito Mojito” at various times throughout the day in order to summon up the gods of thirst and retribution.
Upon my return from dunking myself in the salty waters of the South China Sea, from the next door bar, I could hear “Never Gonna give you up” by Rick Astley…so enduring this self flagellation, it brought me on a trance like stupor journey into the afternoon.
Later that day…
It just so happens that the polite management of the establishment, that we have fortunately graced with our presence, has formally granted Mr Gary +1, an invite to tonight’s VIP function, to celebrate the grand occasion and to dine on the obscene amount of food prepared by the staff and served in the grounds of the hotel. Approximately 200 guests arrived and were ushered in past the security and the photographers. We followed dutifully as instructed….
…At that point, we enquired again what the occasion was as it was no longer what we had originally thought and it turned out that a large part of it (all of it) had been lost in translation when we had arrived a few days earlier…
Anyhow, we enjoyed the event for ‘International Women’s Day’ (a day early) and the gargantuan showpiece of an Indian buffet to promote the hotels catering facilities that guests can book from next week to celebrate evenings with their families during Ramadan…
Today, the path was misleading, tomorrow we are back on the road to nowhere…
Enjoy a live version of this song from one of my favourite bands, The War on Drugs.
After a hearty 5* breakfast and a repack of Stratos & Altus, it’s time to leave the skyscrapers behind and slither out of town like a couple of snails. Taking the now familiar KL Rapid monorail from PWTC was easy and ten stops later we were at Bandar Tasik Selatan, a transit stop for the bus station. Here we bought 2 tickets for 22 ringgits (£4 each) for seats 4&5 on the next big pink bus to Kuantan, about 4 hrs away, on the east coast of the Malaysian peninsula.
Onboard, the coach journey took us up out of KL, past the struggling wagons, on the steep climb up over the Genting Highlands. The main E8 was busy today so time to just sit back and take in the scenery.
I spy with my wonky eye, something beginning with P…?
“PALM OIL”….correct, in obscene amounts! Miles and miles of the damn stuff! Malaysia grows about half the world’s supply of Palm oil in its monoculture plantations which has had a major impact on the eco system in these parts and imports are rightly banned in most other countries outside Asia…Fools gold.?…u decide…rant over!
Arriving at Kuantan we got off and then caught the local bus from the main terminal into the city but by then we had decided to head out to the coast so directly hopped on the awaiting 600 local bus to Beserah beach. During an air-con coffee stop we hailed a ‘Grab’ to our destination of choice at Oedema Beach Resort https://adenaresort.com Here we got a swell reception by the management who let us book online using their wifi so we got a cheaper rate…Booking Geniuses!
The decadent Sunway Putra hotel has given us some 5 star luxury on arrival in KL and time to rest and readjust. It’s absolutely massive with its 650 rooms, pool and shopping mall but not big by KL standards.
Some of the erections here are impressively huge and last nights walk to the Penis Towers did not disappoint.
A trip to KL wouldn’t be complete without catching the KTM train to see Batman’s Cavernous Cave and temple complex, neither he or Robin we’re at home but it would have been disrespectful not to have made the short trip.
He did have 42 metre high statue of Lord Murugan which makes him the biggest Hindu in KL..
Enjoy a nice old chilled track from the Counting Crows
The beauty of flying on the Emirates flagship A30 is that, even in cattle class, you get a personal screen to be able to see what’s going on outside the plane. That way, if anything fails or falls off or a stray flock of seagulls get unluckily sucked into the jet engine, you will be able to watch and witness your own death, as you plummet majestically to the ground, terrified and helpless…an interesting concept?
According to the stats, it’s a journey of 3683 air-miles to DXB Dubai for the first 7hr leg, so as we get herded up the ramp by the drovers and loaded up securely in our our seats we leave behind a chilly morning in Manchester circa. 3 degrees C.
By the time we had cleared Turkish airspace, at thirty nine thousand feet, we had shifted both of the 2 pre-ordered Kosher meals. Our indulgence leaving only the dregs of the delicately ‘slow braised sheep’s brain cassoulet’ for disposal as ICW (International Catering Waste) and had washed it all down with a couple of glasses of Gordon’s famous elixir in order to ward off the prospect of contracting deep vein thrombosis…Foodies know that it is always better for you when you know that it has been prepared under the Rabbinical Supervision of the Beis Din of the Union of Orthodox Hebrew Congregations ….Shalom😜
Now it’s time to sit back for an afternoon of new dark humour murder and espionage featuring ‘The Bagman’ and an opportunity to find out what a ‘bialy’ is, in this Tarantino-esque movie, just to get us in a holiday mood…#TheKillRoom & #Reality.
Through the pitch black, we descended into the big flashing neon city centre of Dubai to complete the first leg. With no time to stock up on my favourite gold leaf, Duty Free underpant and matching tie set from Gucci, we scuttled past quickly, through the impressive Dubai airport, onto the next awaiting aircraft, a Boeing 777 with a wingspan of approximately 212ft and 7 inches or 64.8metres.
With another 3485 miles to our final destination we sat there waiting for take off while choking on the carcinogenic insecticide that had been sprayed through the cabin, hoping that Atmos and Stratos had also made it on to the plane too…
Before the glittering lights of the great city had diminished below I was already twenty minutes into one of the latest blockbuster movies, ‘R.A.D.A.R The Adventures of The Bionic Dog.
A touch more fine dining followed by a whiskey nightcap and it was time to settle down for a couple of hour’s shuteye like couple of old contented sows on wet feed, rocked to sleep with the occasional bout of flatulence over India.
Next stop KL
“Oh life, is better, better than you but you are not me…”
🇲🇾 Malaysia. A country Split in two by the South China Sea, we will be travelling on the west peninsula home of the Worlds oldest tropical rainforest and the sacred birthplace of the OompaLoompas.
First stop KL Kuala Lumpur for a couple of days city action then depending on where the monsoons are affecting the weather we will head off on foot to explore.
Having survived the cattle market and now penned tightly up, it gave me time to reflect on the mornings inefficiencies of one of the UK’ leading International airports. I was finally overjoyed at clearing the gestapo security to sit down and relax with a ridiculously overpriced cup of coffee from one of USA’s leading International coffee emporiums.
I must warn you not to raise your expectations as this is an old blog format on an old blogger platform, cobbled together by an old muso lying in a hammock, so there will be no Vlogging, podcasting, dancing TikTokking videos or even a selfie stick being waved about annoyingly during the making. This decrepit digital nomad will capture it all in his own head using only eyeballs and an old box brownie and then, like a crazy old Baird, will assemble the resulting musings to magically appear on the blog pages, as and when I deem convenient throughout the trip.
That’s the ground rules covered…
Conscious of being in the late fifties now, all moving parts have been Wax-oiled, lips freshly painted and toenails and teeth buffed up and polished for good measure. The bloodstream has been laced with B1 Thiamine in order to cause some kind of metabolic reaction like some ‘freakish anti-mozzy antidote experiment’, but this could turn out to be a load of old metabollox…time will tell.
With loaded rucksacks at the ready we have packed enough stuff to stop anyone or anything biting, stinging, blistering, burning, bleeding, honking and shitting…so hopefully no more ‘dribble drama’s’ according to my favourite advert!
“Never mind, you’ll probably never look that pretty again…
Your not Nineteen Forever, pull yourselves together”
Anyhow, almost ready to set off as you only get one life so you had better use it…!
Next stop Manchester T1 to get, no doubt, frisked, abused and herded out of the terminal and onto the tarmac by airline staff carrying electric prods and lengths of alkathine pipe, like a couple of heifers at a fat stock market.
Emirates’ biggest bird in the fleet, the Airbus A30, is ready to set sail from Manchester to Kuala Lumpur via Dubai on Sunday morning and as we look forward to tucking into our pre-ordered Kosher crispy bacon breakfast barm #JustEat we will be jetting off to the 37 degree sweatbox they call Malaysia 🇲🇾 AKA Bargain loving Brits in the Sun’….
“Your Not Nineteen Forever
It’s not big, and your definitely…not clever”
Off the album St.Jude by the wonderful Manchester band from Middleton, The Courteeners….never bounced as much in my life seeing this band at KGH…enjoy!
