I am the Resurrection...

“I am the resurrection and I am the life,
I couldn't ever bring myself to hate you as I'd like...”

Now that the Easter break is behind us we can now look forward to other wondrous things happening on the religious calendar.

You’ve got it...Guess who’s coming back to a screen near you very soon?

Get ready for the Resurrection...

...or should that read ‘Reserve-Erection’!??🤭

Well, it’s looking like he was infected on the Thursday, spent the weekend in A&E, relapsed on the Monday and went to Chequers on the Tuesday and now we await him to roll away the stone, emerge from the darkness, where he has been working on the Brexit, and make a grand resurrection so the celebrations 🥳 can begin again.

Cheap Easter eggs will fill all the empty shelves in Lidl, children will stay off school and Mums and Dads across the world will not go to work in celebration of the return of the new messiah. Instead they will remain inside with boxes of wine, box sets of Luther and put up shelves and clean thine ovens. They will gleefully paint their joyous fences with creosote and welcome the saviour with open arms. (adhering to social distancing rules, obviously)🚷

They will make love with thy neighbour and fornicate and ....steady, I think that’s enough!!

But you get the picture...

(B) B.C. Prophet, Lura Kronenburg predicts that this phenomenon could happen in a matter of days.

The second coming could join his disciples 🤡in 

Downing Street as soon as Super Saturday according to Aljazeera and start performing miracles in the NHS, helping the blind to see, the lame 

to walk and the leper’s to leap again he takes back control from Raab of Dominica to rule once again over the pagan masses in the promised land.

He will give us a sign, a Curchillian gesture, and lead us forward into “ignoratio elenchi,” 

No humble shepherd or Chief Scientific Advisor will be able stop him from ‘Getting Brexit Done’ and with his new powerful divine powers he will rid the country of this ‘petulant pest’ 
that has plagued our holy land, he will cast his nets to catch 

international contracts and he will send misery and locusts to blight the lives of any European neighbour that declines to doff his beret to our victorious and righteous 🤯leader.

I know you are all dying to see him....but

What we can’t do, Is definitely say when it is safe for him to come back the nest of COBRA’s.

It is critically important that we understand the basic principles, re-examine them and then apply the fluidity in the data to see if there are variations before we relax any measures that will allow Boris to return. But you are absolutely right, this is unprecedented and we all need to get behind the curve and safeguard the green shoots which will, in turn, contribute to the overall picture which will show that we are looking very carefully at the evidence from lessons learned 

and only by reducing these numbers will the analysis of the data contribute to the bigger picture. What we need to ensure is that we make ‘The right decision at the right time’.

His message will once again be heard very clearly as he will rise up to the pulpit at approximately 5pm GMT with the divine words

“Stay home, Stay Safe and Save the NHS”

Amen 🙏

...and God bless 🇱🇷America🇱🇷too.🍣

‘I am the Resurrection’ is another ‘bangin’ tune from the glory days when Ian Brown of the Stone Roses inhabited the earth in 1992 B.C., he also gained ‘Messiah’ status thrust upon him, mostly by the N.M.E.....so, praise be to him here.

“I am the resurrection and I am the life,
I couldn't ever bring myself to hate you as I'd like...”