What kind of a fool do you think I am?
You think I know nothing of the modern world?
You think I know nothing of the modern world?
I spy with my little eye something that sounds like Pie....
I love a pie, everyone does, and being a thick northerner, pies play an important part of our everyday lives, very much like telephones...you really can’t live without one.
So imagine my surprise when I heard that there was a new mobile on the market called an Android pie phone!
Wow...
“This is the modern world that I've learnt about...”
I must have missed that episode of ‘Tomorrows World’ when Raymond Baxter predicted this futuristic thing would happen in 2020...
...I needed to get one....at all costs...This was definitely the phone for me!!
“In Yorkshire slang a pork pie is sometimes called a "growler"
To be honest, I heard about these new phones second hand from a bloke who worked with another fella that I knew, and his missus used to work in the The Carphone Warehouse so knew a bit about this new technology. Anyway it’s a new, exciting thing, probably to do with this 5g gubbins that is the ‘fifth generation of wireless communications technologies supporting cellular data networks’....if I’m not mistaken!
Iv read that David Icke isn’t a great fan of it but he still thinks the Queen is a lizard so in my book I reckon he’s still a bloody crackpot!
But anyhow, did I mention it’s called an Android pie phone...Awesome!
I put my wellies on and set off down to Greggs for some essential shopping in my furloughed dinner hour and was really surprised there wasn’t a queue for them already, so, not wanting to look daft, I peered through the window first, to see if I could see one....nothing...well nothing but pies...and sausage rolls...damn!
You must have to order them online, I thought 💭
Trudging slowly back I started to wonder what they would be like. I pictured like a round, meat and potato shaped affair with a stylish crust and a central keypad. I wondered if, when you left it charging up overnight, it got warm and you could slip it in your trouser pocket?
Of all the phones Iv had Iv never had one like this before...Wow...technology has moved on so much since the 1g day’s when the WAP protocol was to take some 2p’s
with you to the local GPO phone box and shove them in when you heard the pips...
Long before all this fancy roaming and hands free telephoning took off!
Back home I cranked up the computer and typed in ‘Pie’ and pressed ↩️return...Ooh, I wish I hadn’t...just look at all them tasty, crusty, deep-dish, savoury, steak and ale, homemade, deliciously baked, shortcrust sensations....Mmmm....Pies!
But no phone pies..?
Who would make such a product?....Ah, I know....Apple!
.ok, type again...’Apple pie’,↩️
More lovely pies, but sweet crumbles and filo strudels as well...
I needed to be more specific, obviously, and include the word ‘telephone’
I got out my credit card in readiness and typed in ‘New Android Pie telephone’..↩️
🔝🔝🔝🔝Top hit🔝🔝🔝🔝
Really!?
.........
It’s just a normal looking crap mobile telephone!?
Nothing resembling anything to do with pies?
Oh, the disappointment...
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