Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm…

The blog is temporarily down due to technical errors - normal service will resume at some point.

In the meantime here is a song by the Crash Test Dummies.

Won’t get fooled again…

There is a reason why folk moved out of the jungle! It’s full of creepy bugs and wild creatures that will bite yer balls off at a moment’s notice.

This is why we were upgraded…

The new place is Tiger Rock, a luxurious, exclusive private, low impact and sustainable retreat where you get looked after by dedicated staff serving excellent cuisine, prepared and cooked by a chef using only seasonal local ingredients from Pangkor Island to produce a culinary experience of the flavours from Malaysia. 

Set within a protected area of rainforest with Giant hornbills above and troupes of cheeky monkeys peering at you from every angle.

   

All set in a beautiful established garden.

With a private lounge and infinity pool.

 

Or two…

 

Oh, and of course…a tiger! 

“They’re Grrreat…”

https://www.tigerrock.info/

It really is the dogs….

Who are you?

Jungle Boogie…

It’s time to apply the deet…we are heading for the Malaysian jungle!

It’s only natural that you get down to basics now and again and spend some time appreciating how our forefathers lived, like Tarzan.

It wasn’t long before we were under the canopy, and sweating like pigs, into the dense, primary rainforest. In the distance we could hear the courtship calls of the cicada’s, like small car alarms going off. 

  

We carried on regardless, going ‘deeper and deeper into the under growfth’. I could hear the lispy botanist David Bellamy in my head and picture his round, hairy, bearded face, creepily poking out from behind a thicket of palm frongs…

We soldiered on, as the path disappeared we hacked our way through the whispering grass and the spikey rattan, now humid and hot we resembled Don Estelle & Windsor Davies of ‘It ain’t half hot mum’, circa 1974 fame…

Suddenly we came across a large python in the bushes, hissing at us…was this a warning?

“Sssstay on the path”

We continued on…

Then, another reptile, this time an angry venomous cobra reared up…

“Hiss off”

We started to run…

                                 Right into the path of an awaiting tiger…

“They’re Grrreat…!”

So we ran a bit more…

Finally we caught a glimpse of a roof through the forest 

and could hear several larger creatures crashing about in the nearby trees, we had at last found our promised abode.

‘Seaview Cottage’

It was spacious and rustic, as described…but we were not the first to arrive. 

A troupe of pesky primates had beaten us to it and had most of the galvanised roof sheets away and a couple of the windows.

On closer inspection, the wifi password didn’t work, there were no clean towels or any sign of a minibar!

That’s the last time I’m using AirB&B…

Good work, managed to reference a couple of classic 70’s TV programmes from my youth too!

Kool and the Gang ‘Jungle Boogie’, used in one of my favourite films ‘Pulp Fiction ’…Iv added the lyrics too so be sure to sing along!

Lyrics

Get down, get down 
Get down, get down 
Get down, get down 
Get down, get down
Get down, get down 
Get down, get down
Get down, get down 
Get down, get down 

Jungle boogie 
(Get down with the boogie)
Jungle boogie 
(Get it on) 
Jungle boogie 
(Get down with the boogie)
Jungle boogie 
(Get it on) 
Jungle boogie 
(Get up with the boogie)
Jungle boogie 
(Get up with the get down)
Jungle boogie 
(Get down with the boogie) 
Jungle boogie 
(Shake it around) 

Jungle boogie 
(Get up with the get down)
Jungle boogie 
(Boogie, boogie) 
Jungle boogie 
(Get the boogie) 
Jungle boogie 
Jungle boogie 
(Get up with the get down)
Jungle boogie 
(Ah, get the boogie) 
Jungle boogie 
(Let me jump in) 
Jungle boogie 
(Get down with the boogie) 

Get down, get down 
Get down, get down 
(With the boogie)
Get down, get down 
(Jungle boogie)
Get down, get down
(With the boogie)
Get down, get down 
(It's the boogie)
Get down, get down
(Jungle boogie)
Get down, get down 
(With the boogie)
Get down, get down 
(With the boogie)
Get down, get down 
(Jungle boogie)
Get down, get down 
(Boogie)
Get down, get down 
(It's the boogie)
Get down, get down 

Uh, get it
Feel the funk y'all 
Let it flow

Get down with the boogie 
I'm a-talkin' 'bout the jungle boogie
Get down, huh
Get down with the boogie say 
Uh, huh, get down
Say, uh, huh-uh, ah, get down
Say, uh, huh, get down
Say, uh, huh, till you feel it, y'all
Ah, huh, get down, y'all
Uh-huh
Ah, get down
Huh-uh
Ah, get up, y'all
Ah, huh, with the get down
Uh-huh
Uh-huh
Get down
Whoa!

Apply Some Pressure…

Holidays should be about taking it easy with a fair bit of lozzocking about instead of running around frantically like a sand crab. Wellness and mindfulness is high up the agenda these days so I need to put the reluctance and doubt behind me and embrace the opportunities.

Open minded to new ideas, I decided to offer my body and soul to a tried and trusted local Chinese alternative medicinal practice that offered a variety of holistic healing claiming benefits to my health not to mention increased energy, improved blood circulation and correction of any hormonal imbalances I may have.

So I signed up for an hour of soothing, pampering, calming bliss that is Reflexology.

It’s been going since 2500 BC, and it’s an ancient type of zone massage perfected by Egyptians.

I’m no expert but Iv read up a bit so let me explain.

By rubbing your feet in different places, these ‘zones’ correlate with different organs in your body so, for instance, if you are struggling with ‘belly wazz’ you just need someone to rub around the back of your heel and up your achilles and ‘hey presto’, no more flatulence!

Let’s give it a go…

A plastic washing up bowl, full of water, was placed on the floor in front of me by a lovely Chinese looking lady with petite, soft looking hands and polished nails. I was instructed to place both feet in it. After 5 minutes soaking, the tiny masseuse dried my feet and set about the mood enhancing process.

OMG…

She grabbed me by the big toe and with her cadaverous, bony fingers she tweaked, twisted and rived her way up the ball of my left foot, applying so much pressure with her thumb and forefinger that I let out a pathetic yelp.

She offered no restraint, instead more pressure was applied with her ape like knuckles, now along my insole, and bent my foot back to almost the point of dislocation.

I grimaced and whimpered again to let her know she was torturing my vital tendons but to no avail…

She ignored my twisted, contorted, grimacing face and continued on in her holistic quest.

rive

/rʌɪv/

verb

past tense: rived

1. LITERARY

   split or tear apart violently.

   "My poor feet were riven apart by the ordeal "

   Similar:

   torn apart

   split

   rent

   ripped apart

I look up at the clock, Christ…only ten minutes in and my poor bony foot has had most of the muscle separated from the bone and any cartilage that was attached, has now been remoulded and re-aligned. As she dug her sharp nails in, almost piercing the skin, more pressure was applied to my heel and shin simultaneously.

The towel came out and I thought I was done, but no, she used it like a weapon to wrap my toes in to be able to gain more leverage as she attempted, one by one, to pull off all of my toes, wrenching them out individually from the socket.

I start to wonder what organ will benefit from this intense persecution being applied to my trotters?

Now fist punching my calf and digging her elbow into my ankle ligaments at the same time, the onslaught was relentless.

At last it was half time…at least I had a couple of minutes to regain my composure before the second half on the other foot….

Finally, it ended and I settled up the nominal fee and hobbled off out into the street, clutching my sandals as my poor, swollen, battered tootsies could bear no more and could now no longer provide me with basic support, balance and mobility.

This should work better…a bit of Maximo Park to sooth the ears!

Come in to the Garden…

Fantastic to watch the pair of hornbills again hopping about in the garden. 

  

We leave here today so il leave you just with some pics from this well established, beautiful and tropical garden that we have thoroughly enjoyed, full of birds and flowers.

 

  

Come into the garden by NIck Drake, off the album ‘Family Tree’…sad that he died at only 26…

Both Sides now…

Been here a few days now so some faces are starting to look familiar at the Sandy Spoon breakfast bar and naturally they have been appointed nicknames. There’s ‘Smiler’ who serves and looks as miserable as sin everyday, ‘Gunter’, a sour looking bald German fella with a chunky wife and then our favourite, ‘Fannypack’ who only has one pair of shorts and shirt and walks around sporting a massive, fully loaded, multi-zipped bum bag at all times.

fanny pack

noun [ C ]

 US

UK  

 /ˈfæn.i ˌpæk/ US  

 /ˈfæn.i ˌpæk/

(US also waist pack); (UK bumbag)

Morning fun is also had by turning the toast machine up to 11 when finished and sitting back to watch the pandemonium when the next sucker sticks in the bread and is helpless to retract the burning slice from the rotating incinerator before it’s too late…

Rules must be obeyed though, Wet ‘Cloths’ will NOT be tolerated.

That said, Iv already broken my own self inflicted rule, having gorged myself on fresh local Mango, Dragon Fruit, Watermelon and Jack 🍈 Fruit and a huge plate of Chinese vegetables including some rubber cabbage affair that resembled eating the pocket of an old farmers black Mackintosh…Strange fruit indeed!

For the younger viewers I must point out that a Mackintosh is an old gabardine raincoat and NOT a MacBook! #Neverstoplearningkidz

Had the obligatory tour of the island on the scooter like a couple of hairy bikers in search of food and hornbills, this time 🐜 yclockwise, so we have looked at the island from both sides now, but again to no avail…lunch was found courtesy of Fatt Kee again.

Disappointed, we dragged our weary arses out of the sea and tottered back to find….a pair of clumsy Oriental pied hornbills in the coconut tree 10yards from our crib!…At last!

That’s great…you travel 3 times around the island and the buggers are within feet from the balcony!

A classic that everyone needs to hear and look at life from every angle…you only get the one!

Shoeless…

Why is there always one shoe on every beach…?

Is it just me alone wondering this?

In my 57 and 3/4 years Iv been to many beaches and I can honestly say that I have never lost footwear. Sunglasses?…yes, by the bucket load, but Iv always got home without having to hop. What is it about folk when they leave the beach they don’t check? Hmmm…Iv got my trousers, my hat, my car keys and my wallet…oh, hang on…why have I only got one shoe on??

It’s pretty obvious to me but admittedly I ain’t your average Joe.

Not much to report today, apart from the sad washed-up sandal…it’s a ‘sign’ that its been a slow day but we have carefully circumnavigated the island clockwise again looking for the elusive bloody hornbills but only saw scraggy macaque monkeys and a large monitor lizard.

As the sun started to set I spotted a Tiger…

This blog is looking a bit ropey…

Better luck and much more effort tomorrow…I’d like to promise!!

“Shoeless in your favourite dress
You walk the shores
The waves carress your feet
You don't really mind”

Enjoy a bit of John Bramwell ‘live’ here (AKA I am Kloot) stood on a beer crate