Apply Some Pressure…

Holidays should be about taking it easy with a fair bit of lozzocking about instead of running around frantically like a sand crab. Wellness and mindfulness is high up the agenda these days so I need to put the reluctance and doubt behind me and embrace the opportunities.

Open minded to new ideas, I decided to offer my body and soul to a tried and trusted local Chinese alternative medicinal practice that offered a variety of holistic healing claiming benefits to my health not to mention increased energy, improved blood circulation and correction of any hormonal imbalances I may have.

So I signed up for an hour of soothing, pampering, calming bliss that is Reflexology.

It’s been going since 2500 BC, and it’s an ancient type of zone massage perfected by Egyptians.

I’m no expert but Iv read up a bit so let me explain.

By rubbing your feet in different places, these ‘zones’ correlate with different organs in your body so, for instance, if you are struggling with ‘belly wazz’ you just need someone to rub around the back of your heel and up your achilles and ‘hey presto’, no more flatulence!

Let’s give it a go…

A plastic washing up bowl, full of water, was placed on the floor in front of me by a lovely Chinese looking lady with petite, soft looking hands and polished nails. I was instructed to place both feet in it. After 5 minutes soaking, the tiny masseuse dried my feet and set about the mood enhancing process.

OMG…

She grabbed me by the big toe and with her cadaverous, bony fingers she tweaked, twisted and rived her way up the ball of my left foot, applying so much pressure with her thumb and forefinger that I let out a pathetic yelp.

She offered no restraint, instead more pressure was applied with her ape like knuckles, now along my insole, and bent my foot back to almost the point of dislocation.

I grimaced and whimpered again to let her know she was torturing my vital tendons but to no avail…

She ignored my twisted, contorted, grimacing face and continued on in her holistic quest.

rive

/rʌɪv/

verb

past tense: rived

1. LITERARY

   split or tear apart violently.

   "My poor feet were riven apart by the ordeal "

   Similar:

   torn apart

   split

   rent

   ripped apart

I look up at the clock, Christ…only ten minutes in and my poor bony foot has had most of the muscle separated from the bone and any cartilage that was attached, has now been remoulded and re-aligned. As she dug her sharp nails in, almost piercing the skin, more pressure was applied to my heel and shin simultaneously.

The towel came out and I thought I was done, but no, she used it like a weapon to wrap my toes in to be able to gain more leverage as she attempted, one by one, to pull off all of my toes, wrenching them out individually from the socket.

I start to wonder what organ will benefit from this intense persecution being applied to my trotters?

Now fist punching my calf and digging her elbow into my ankle ligaments at the same time, the onslaught was relentless.

At last it was half time…at least I had a couple of minutes to regain my composure before the second half on the other foot….

Finally, it ended and I settled up the nominal fee and hobbled off out into the street, clutching my sandals as my poor, swollen, battered tootsies could bear no more and could now no longer provide me with basic support, balance and mobility.

This should work better…a bit of Maximo Park to sooth the ears!

Come in to the Garden…

Fantastic to watch the pair of hornbills again hopping about in the garden. 

  

We leave here today so il leave you just with some pics from this well established, beautiful and tropical garden that we have thoroughly enjoyed, full of birds and flowers.

 

  

Come into the garden by NIck Drake, off the album ‘Family Tree’…sad that he died at only 26…

Both Sides now…

Been here a few days now so some faces are starting to look familiar at the Sandy Spoon breakfast bar and naturally they have been appointed nicknames. There’s ‘Smiler’ who serves and looks as miserable as sin everyday, ‘Gunter’, a sour looking bald German fella with a chunky wife and then our favourite, ‘Fannypack’ who only has one pair of shorts and shirt and walks around sporting a massive, fully loaded, multi-zipped bum bag at all times.

fanny pack

noun [ C ]

 US

UK  

 /ˈfæn.i ˌpæk/ US  

 /ˈfæn.i ˌpæk/

(US also waist pack); (UK bumbag)

Morning fun is also had by turning the toast machine up to 11 when finished and sitting back to watch the pandemonium when the next sucker sticks in the bread and is helpless to retract the burning slice from the rotating incinerator before it’s too late…

Rules must be obeyed though, Wet ‘Cloths’ will NOT be tolerated.

That said, Iv already broken my own self inflicted rule, having gorged myself on fresh local Mango, Dragon Fruit, Watermelon and Jack 🍈 Fruit and a huge plate of Chinese vegetables including some rubber cabbage affair that resembled eating the pocket of an old farmers black Mackintosh…Strange fruit indeed!

For the younger viewers I must point out that a Mackintosh is an old gabardine raincoat and NOT a MacBook! #Neverstoplearningkidz

Had the obligatory tour of the island on the scooter like a couple of hairy bikers in search of food and hornbills, this time 🐜 yclockwise, so we have looked at the island from both sides now, but again to no avail…lunch was found courtesy of Fatt Kee again.

Disappointed, we dragged our weary arses out of the sea and tottered back to find….a pair of clumsy Oriental pied hornbills in the coconut tree 10yards from our crib!…At last!

That’s great…you travel 3 times around the island and the buggers are within feet from the balcony!

A classic that everyone needs to hear and look at life from every angle…you only get the one!

Shoeless…

Why is there always one shoe on every beach…?

Is it just me alone wondering this?

In my 57 and 3/4 years Iv been to many beaches and I can honestly say that I have never lost footwear. Sunglasses?…yes, by the bucket load, but Iv always got home without having to hop. What is it about folk when they leave the beach they don’t check? Hmmm…Iv got my trousers, my hat, my car keys and my wallet…oh, hang on…why have I only got one shoe on??

It’s pretty obvious to me but admittedly I ain’t your average Joe.

Not much to report today, apart from the sad washed-up sandal…it’s a ‘sign’ that its been a slow day but we have carefully circumnavigated the island clockwise again looking for the elusive bloody hornbills but only saw scraggy macaque monkeys and a large monitor lizard.

As the sun started to set I spotted a Tiger…

This blog is looking a bit ropey…

Better luck and much more effort tomorrow…I’d like to promise!!

“Shoeless in your favourite dress
You walk the shores
The waves carress your feet
You don't really mind”

Enjoy a bit of John Bramwell ‘live’ here (AKA I am Kloot) stood on a beer crate

Woke up this morning…

 

Always good to wake up in a morning but even better to have sunshine and a handy beach for a morning dip in the sea.

Now at Sandy Beach on Pangkor Island https://pangkorsandybeach.com/  Low season here so hardly anyone about and prices cheap for a nice chalet and more many places open on the West coast.

Had a spin round the island on a trusty rental just to explore and get to know the joint.

Then stopped for noodle soup…I love a photo with a lot going on and even though the noodle soup lady had been busy it was nice to sit and eat and see the view from her office.

Takeaway tea from the next village bay #Just Eat(Freshly cooked fish)

  

Oh and Yo…4 u homeys that dig da feed I have linked ma blog to ‘Insta’ in a vain attempt to get ‘in ya face’ and move with the times….u diggin’me?…I was ‘enlightened’ to sign up on to the dark web so watch this space for more regular ‘gourmet’ content Y’all…😎

Enjoy this track by a favourite band or I will ‘Pop a cap in ur ass’…

For the price of a cup of tea..?

Allah spoke to us via the Imam on top of the 🕌 to let us know it was breakfast time and then we were leaving on the morning 🚌 bus. It took us past the unsightly plastic covered hillsides and down to Ipoh. You can’t ignore the shocking scale of degradation of this area it as it detracts from the normally green 🌳 🌲 🌴 hillsides. It’s where 60% of all the veggies and fruit in Malaysia and Singapore is grown. I have to admit that it has left a sour taste in my mouth, to the point that I have decided make a stand and never to eat 🌽 and fruit 🍉 again! 

From now on I’m going to adopt a strict carnivorous diet to combat this and that way I will be doing my bit to save the 🌍 and il feel a whole lot better…

The tea plantations are tiny in comparison and really only kept for ‘tourism purposes’…What a price to pay!!

https://www.cameron.com.my/no-time-left-to-protect-cameron-highlands.html

From the bus terminal in Ipoh we ‘Grabbed’ it to the awaiting ferry at Marina Island for the short sail to Pangkor Island arriving in perfect time for next 10minute crossing.

By lunchtime I was having pork and rice knocked up for me at Fatt Kee’s in the town.

                                              Murtabak for tea! 

“For the price of a pint of milk
I'll tell you all I know
About the state of the world today
Sit down, enjoy the show..”

‘For the price of a cup of tea’ off the album ‘The Life Pursuit’ by the wonderful ‘Belle & Sebastian’ - wet your whistle and sit back to enjoy the track here.

Torn on the Platform…

 

A short taxi ride from the riverside hotel took us to Wakif Bharu for the morning train. The previous evening we had discovered that our plan of getting off at Kuala Krai and taking a boat up the river to Dabong was not possible as this service was not operating. Instead, a little torn, we purchased tickets for the end of the line, Gua Musang, continuing on into the internal jungle heart of Malaysia.

It got obviously more greener and more and more remote, calling at smaller and smaller platforms along the route until finally we got to the end of the line. At Gua Musang it was the same story, because of Ramadan everywhere is closed up. Another rethink outside a small shop to get some provisions and we were off again, this time by ‘Grab’ car as our decision was to continue on to have a look at the Cameron Highlands.

The road was pretty windy and bumpy so it was a relief to arrive at Tanah RATA in one piece but along the way we had witnessed the intensive ‘growing’ areas where Chinese companies were covering the hillsides in plastic sheeting to cultivate vegetables and plants on a massive scale of production that was unnerving.

The Cameron Highlands read well, a lovely area full of cultivated tea plantations..this was not the welcoming sight as we pulled into Tanah Rata. It was a mess of sprawling towns with little to attract an audience. 

We ate at the local nightly food market in the centre of Tanah Rata made the decision to leave the Cameron Highlands in the morning, slightly dissatisfied.

Hopefully a bit of Jack Penate will make amends!