Narrowboatboy’s Big, Bad Blog...Narrowboat & Travel blog based on Lancaster Canal

angst /aŋst/ noun a feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general. One thing Iv noticed that this lockdown has done  is that it’s got everyone a lot fitter! Iv never known so many people, who quite frankly were the quintessential lazy fat-arsed sods of the community, now seem sooo desperate to excercise or...to be seen to be exercising. We  Why is this? Before the restrictions, most folk couldn’t get up in a morning.  Then, when they  had  hauled their lardy arses out of bed, they would set off reluctantly, driving half asleep to work, eating crisps and pies and then returning as soon as they could, on flexitime, to lie on their moth-eaten sofa’s and complain like hell if even an ‘ advert ’ came on for anything remotely active, like Peloton bikes or Nike trainers. Since the old rubber-faced Michael Gove came on the telly an...

“This is the sound, This is the sound of the Suburbs...” Self Isolating isn’t a new thing, Iv been doing it for ages. Ever since I decided that the neighbours were a bunch of tossers and I planted a leylandii hedge that grew about 20ft a year for the last 10 years in order to give him a Seasonal Affected Disorder(SAD). Last week their tortoise crawled into the garden so I rang them and they didn’t seem keen for me to throw it back over so I decided to take the chainsaw to it...not the tortoise, I hasten to add....the hedge! It’s now only 2ft high about 10ft wide so ideal now for social distancing. With the hedge gone, and the barrier broken, we are best of friends again now that we have re-connected thanks only to a global pandemic. This morning I called over and waved to Malcolm as I could hear him practicing his cazoo. He was self- hibernating in his shed, as he was at a loose end, so was making a musical vlog about his screw collection to post on EweTube. ...

“I wear this crown of thorns Upon my liar's chair Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair...” GoodFriday is a very important day for Christians of every faith as they all believed that JC also known as the incarnation of God was horrifically  crucified by the Romans on a hill outside Jerusalem.  Nothing says Easter like a weekend celebration of torture and resurrection! Jesus died for everyone.  So at this time it is important to ask the question. What have the Romans’ ever done for us? Well you have to look on the bright side and also on the internet to find out, so as  Im an agnostic doubting Thomas and not that au-fait with all things religious, I had to do a bit of research here.... They reckon that Easter started when Jesus invited all his mates round for a Friday Night Dinner but on a Thursday night in his crib in downtown Jerusalem. About twenty lads rocked up including Judas Priest, Sam Shepherd, Brian the...

The situation has now got more desperate as the food is running low. It wasn’t good to start with as all the shelves are still empty in the coop but I did manage to come away with a some spuds, a packet of fish fingers and a bag of frozen peas but now Iv got home I haven’t a bloody clue what to make with them? Not to be beaten I looked on’t’internet to see if there was some way that I could knock up a tasty meal using only the three ingredients and hey pesto...incredibly, there was! There were loads actually but Iv narrowed it down to just 3 of my favourites. Ingredients: 2kg Potatoes 1pkt Fish Fingers 1 bag of frozen peas Recipe number 1 - EASY — Jamie Oliver Method: First you need to build a smoker in the back yard, put the fish fingers on a rack and leave for 3 days. While the fish is smoking, light your outside pizza 🍙oven and get the temperature to 207C before you throw in the spuds, unpeeled and whole. Next, defrost the peas over a pan of boiling w...

Fantasy government 2020 At the moment they seem to be dropping like flies so it crossed my mind that if the situation gets much worse then we need to be prepared and have a contingency plan if all the current government goes down. I’m of the thinking that we should do it like I did my 6 Nations fantasy team and pick within a budget of only 100 million quid due to the state of the nations economy. It needs to reflect and support the diversity of the country and provide powerful leadership of the whole nation moving forward after Brexit.  In my fantasy team Iv picked mainly strong English forwards with a token Scot, Welsh, LGBGT etc to avoid criticism to make up the front bench. Every 3 months you can transfer a maximum of 3 members in or out on form or for injury. Extra Points will be accumulated for each member of the new cabinet that uses the words ‘unprecedented’, ‘self-isolation’ and ‘confident’ on the BBC. So I propose... Prime Minister Jim Bell PM -...

Some Better Day... Can you be bored to death? bored to death ( also   bored to tears/bored stiff ) Bored v Boring? As my brain degenerates I’m starting to wonder whether I’m getting bored or getting boring? So I turn to the psychology books to find out that “people will sometimes do reckless, stupid things when they suffer from chronic  boredom”. According to ‘Psychology Today’ People who are easily bored are more likely to engage in dangerous sports, be sexually promiscuous and engage in drug and alcohol abuse. All of these things will reduce average life expectancy, but is that dying of boredom or dying of excitement? The pundits at the big University College London go  on to say that people who complain of “high levels” of  boredom  in their lives are at double the risk of  dying  from from heart disease or a stroke than those who find life entertaining...so that’s summat else to look forward to! Futher resear...

Im having trouble understanding all the confusion that people are having while sat at home, malingering in their houses and avoiding doing a stroke of work. Some are bored now and sat on the settee thinking that they are in Dire Straits going to get money for nothing and chips for free.... But ...That ain't workin' that's the way you do it! The U.K. Covid-19 Furlough Scheme explained for the hard of hearing... Its perfectly simple, you just need to know the difference so I’d thought I would do my Civic duty and leave you an explanation, so here goes.... A furlough  (/ˈfɜːrloʊ/; from Dutch: verlof, "leave of absence") is a temporary leave of employees due to special needs of a company or employer, which may be due to economic conditions at the specific employer or in the economy as a whole. This is the one that you want and not to be confused with the following:- A Ferlo , a relict river valley and region of interior northern Senegal. It li...